Note: Today’s blog is written by Stephanie, who is a practicing psychologist in North Carolina and is a Thinkster parent. She shares her experiences on finding a math program. Being published with her consent.
I can remember it vividly. “Pencils down, now!” We had timed math tests each week and each week that test would throw me into sheer panic. Mrs. Rodgers, my third grade teacher, made it clear that we were supposed to answer the questions quickly and accurately, but each week, I would just freeze. I’d count on my fingers. I’d try to work as fast as I could but I always seemed to take too long and I never did finish the problems on my paper.
My son’s similar experience
My son, Ben, started third grade this year. Although he had never loved math before, something had changed in school now. He made it clear that he felt like he just couldn’t finish the problems as quickly as other kids. He was full of questions.
Why did his friends seem to have an easier time than him? Why did math seem so hard? He felt like everyone was better than him and had an advantage. I wasn’t sure why he was struggling, but I knew just how he felt. I flashed right back to how I felt in third grade, staring at the sheet of paper on my beige laminate desk, terrified that I was getting the answers wrong.
Talent vs Perseverance
My husband and I initially decided that he just needed more practice. I’m a psychologist and strongly influenced by the work of Carol Dweck. Dr. Dweck, a psychologist and researcher who studies how the feedback kids get affects their motivation and achievement, wrote the book MindSet. In it, Dr. Dweck makes the distinction between rewarding kids by telling them that their intelligence is about innate ability (“You’re really smart.”) vs. it’s about the effort they put into their work (“You worked really hard on that.”). I know from my own education and personal experience that often what looks like “talent” or ability, is 99% perseverance and practice.
So, my husband and I downloaded a couple of iPad apps to practice math problems and we made it part of our evening routine. But the iPad apps we picked weren’t really fun and they didn’t seem to challenge or motivate Ben. He just didn’t love working on them and I was full of doubts about whether we had chosen a good path to help him. I was frustrated and uncertain. I just didn’t know how to teach or tutor math. But I soon figured out that I too needed support to figure out how best to support him.
